Posted by: gljcm2 | March 10, 2001

Sometimes We Get What We Need – Not What We Want! March 2001


It is March, 2001 — 22 long months since I left my job due to HHT. For the time being, I have crossed the rapids, temporarily reached the other side and its absolutely wonderful!

I wrote of my work on the Crisis Line and how it became my lifeline. Through it I found a sense of self worth by being able to do something meaningful. Speaking to callers on the phone and creating a safe atmosphere where they could share their pain, I gained a new perspective. When one hears of other’s pain, one’s own becomes so much less. I looked forward to my shifts on the line… regained confidence….lost my feelings of isolation and utilized my time while my health improved somewhat.

Thanks to an intervention called Iron Infusions I now have periods of time where I am stronger and am able to do more “normal” things. And while I have not been able to return to my teaching, a wonderful opportunity has arisen in my life.

Once again I have found the “perfect” job! Or should I say, it found me. Some people in their entire lives NEVER find ONE perfect job.. and yet I truly believe that I have been granted a second wonderful chance. It’s as though a door has opened that I never knew existed. It is a door that had my health not been poor, I would have missed entirely. It is defnitely, as a wise friend said to me, not what I was wanting or looking for, but was what I NEEDED.

I am now an education coordinator for a Sexual Assault Center. This job is truly a gift as I am able to work the hours my health allows. Here I can use my skills and my natural love of teaching to share with young males and females in our schools, and women in our communities how they can prevent sexual harrassment and assault. I’m also given many avenues to encourage victims to seek the help they deserve and need. I feel a passion for this work, just as I did teaching children in school and this is of utmost importance to me. I believe I can make a difference.

Yes, I have the perfect job! It is one which utilizes my love of researching, my passion for teaching, and my enjoyment of meeting a challenge. And ultimately it allows me to share those concerns and topics with others.

This position has brought challenges. Every challenge I meet reinforces my feeling that I can make a difference. That I once again have a purpose. With my disability came self doubt and dreams in which I was always failing. Despite having been a very good teacher, while I was unable to work I dreamed constantly of going into a classroom and being unable to do my job. This fear and these dreams no longer exist. How fortunate I am!

In this past two months I have spoken with young children in elementary schools; adolescents in Jr. and Sr. Highs; and moms. I’ve been able to share my presentations during special days in schools celebrating Diversity, and in a University class of Master’s students studying Marriage and Family Counselling. The anticipation and excitement I feel before each presentation is only surpassed by the feeling of satisfaction when I know its been a job well done. And I am so fortunate to work for an agency that provides this feedback to me.

Yes, my friends, there is hope, when we are facing difficulty in our lives. To everything there is a season. A time to laugh and a time to cry; a time to sow and a time to reap. We must only have patience, for someday we will realize… we may not always get what we want.. but we will get what we need!


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