Posted by: gljcm2 | February 16, 2009

Torn Between Two Lives


Torn – torn between living this life in paradise surrounded by strangers – alone at the beach and so aware of that. Couples abound, groups of friends laugh and talk, glasses are raised. Salud!

Knowing that at home in Canada my children and grandchildren are sharing tobaggan parties and weiner roasts with their grandpa, but grandma is far away. Missing my son’s last hockey game in Ponoka – an important night for him and I am not there to share it.

Torn – so much distance and space between my life here and there.

Valuing my friend Reta, my neighbors in Mexico, my children at the school where I teach English, and new friends. But we do not share history. Only my family and friends back home know that. And at moments like these I miss them deeply – longing to share some of my life with them.

My casa – so beautiful – where I am peaceful and content. The weather is perfect every day. And yet I still long for the deeper connection so missing in my life.

Fun to dance, to laugh, to walk , to meet – tired at the end of the day, but still alone.

Yes … this is paradise, but here on the beach where the waves crash and the sun shines brightly, today, I am torn.



  1. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

    Butterflies are self-propelled flowers. ~R.H. Heinlein

    • Interesting to see your name here. How are things going?

  2. Yes, I was surfing the ‘net and came across your blog. Things are good here. Not too many changes…older but probably no wiser. 🙂

    It would appear that there have been substantial changes in your life. If you have a chance, write and fill me in. — Jim

  3. Is life part of what we have from breathing. I feel life is what we make it and to live, yes to live comes from in the heart. The heart, the roots to our being, the morals, the ethics, all of the components defining us as to who we are. So for me as I learn and change and crawl in a direction I call forward, I enjoy living, I enjoy being, yes I live. If I am at home in my own yard or if I am in a distant land with a different culture, I continue to live. Yes of course I wish my loved ones were near me. I would love to have the lady of my dreams here at my side. Living would be so much more if all my dreams could come true. As long as I can grow internally, I live. If I were to become torn between two lives, I would be questioning the spirit to go forward that lives inside me. Are we all confused now? I know your intentions of Torn Between Two Lives, the words just have a different meaning to me. Thank you for allowing me a reason to think.

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