Posted by: gljcm2 | October 6, 2010

Back in the Cocoon October 6, 2010

Our lives are ever changing. Some changes are smaller; some bigger, and some revert to what we’ve always been.
Today I take another step on the path of change. For two summers I have lived in a special little place in Lacombe that I have created for me. It has been my cocoon – yes once again a cocoon has held me while I grew inside waiting to come forth once more as the butterfly I know I am. My little house has been a sanctuary. It’s a rental house Garry and I own, and my space has been the main floor. I furnished it with furniture and things I found on the internet, personalizing it, making it home. Its walls sheltered my tears, my learning, my joy, my new experiences. It gave me shelter but my kids wouldn’t come visit; it gave me a place where Garry and I could still work together in a different way than we had for the past 28 years. It allowed us to learn that we can be apart and still love one another; help each other; and be who and what we need to be with the other’s support.
Every day is different… some free, others painful. Its truly a time for one day at a time.
It has not been easy – far from easy. The pain of leaving is something that no one will ever understand. The hope that things would improve in our marriage was never realized and that pain was debilitating at times. I feel like I have been wearing an invisible coat of sorrow that covers my arms and soul, ready to appear at any time.


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